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November 30, 2009 Y 8:36 PM

Friday (27 November 2009) bersamaan 10 zuhlijah

I woke up pretty much early today as I am going to visit the graveyard with my mother. I reached the Boon Lay Mrt early and I was proud of myself... Then we went to the cemetery by public transport. We were lost. We had to walk all the way there by foot instead. It was not glamorous at all. We visited Abang Boy’s first. Today is his 2nd month… I miss him so dearly now... I cried there. It was unstoppable. Then we visited Kakak Hasanah. I was pretty much chocked up by then... I had to talk in my heart... then we went to My Mother’s graveyard…
It was actually my grandmother but I have treated her like my own mother since she took care of me since baby. I was speechless. I had 2 mothers by me and I don’t know what to say. I wanted my mother (grandmother) to come back but at the same time I want my maternal mother by me. There is no choice of course... But I wish Emak could see what happen to me after she left me in 2006. Then we headed to Jurong Point to meet Bibik. We took a taxi from there to IMM. We practically shopped.
Then it was time for me to go home... It is getting late and it was raining. When I reached home, I ate the delicious food that Kak Ela served and watched TV. Around 6pm or later, I fall asleep. I woke up at 8pm plus. I dreamt of something. It was beautiful. I almost regretted waking up as it was so surreal! If only the stupid phone won’t ring that loud and long.
I dreamt I met my dearest brother. I was also in a relationship with one of his friends at the same time. We hanged out and had a bundle of fun. I can’t remember all the parts of the dream... I remembered that we spent the time together joking around. I called him Bie and he was like “Ape benda?” I then said “where is my boyfriend?”It was funny... I went to his house and ate there. Brother and I spent a lot of time together. Then I was in a taxi with Bapak and Mama, Mama wanted to go home so she dropped off somewhere at her place and Bapak was very quiet. He waved goodbye to me as I planned to come over to Mama’s house. I text my Brother this “Kau patne? Aku nk jumpe kau ah” Something like that. But he never replied at all. I hugged Bapak but he refused to be hugged. I was technically climbing on him for a hug. He gave in and hugs me. He kept telling me that his birthday is 20 plus September when it was 10 September. Then I kissed him of course... He was so shocked that I did that.
When I woke up, I regretted it. I wanted that dream to last forever, where there is me with my dearest brother, there’s my maternal mother with my biological father.. They don’t have to be together but at least they meet and talk like old friends. I was filled with bliss. I missed my brother.
I remembered in the dream that I hugged him and he returned it, we were just having fun together. I wanted that to happen like so long ago but I know that it’s impossible now that he is gone forever and never coming back.
Am I able to meet him again in the future? I want to… know everything about you brother and I won’t stop just there. I love you so much

November 28, 2009 Y 4:51 PM

WEEEEE~~~ the butterflies !!

This is so awesomeeee !!

Let me tell you this !! :D

Monday, Tuesday,Wednesday:

Great arr, I think I went somewhere on Monday, but where uhh ? Oh, I think I go.. uhm..Okay, Basically, I went to Bishan on one of the days to collect Nyssa Phone ! then lepak at Fira house laa for a little while before heading to Reen house to watch HISTERIA! Okay, it was damnn scary, especially the part where the ghost just pop out from no where !!! Then, I remembered sleeping over at Nyssa house on Monday night.. Wasn't scary laa, you know, kak fiza loves to scare the hell out of me..

then tuesday, I went To EAST COAST PARK with Rahim and Dear Rachel LOh. HEEHEHHEHEE.. I was late arr, i just came baq from Nyssa house maahh..

We were lost btw.. we don't know how to get there, ridiculous ! We reached there of course, like an hour later.. then, we check out that place and then we were lost again.. finding mac !?! GOD

After that, I went home, if i am not wrong.. Insyirah was sick, on one of those days.. Then Wednesday.. I went to Yishun.. I think..


The stupid ADSS open house at 12.30pm. I came at 1pm. I went to Changi for a visit and then rushed my way to SCHOOL. It was fun ! Not the open house but the committee..

We played poker cards, we ate mac,( we sneaked out in between the open house) and we had fun in the habour ! I can't believe we're called SC?! It was CRAZYY ! Ama didnt know how to play poker cards !?! HAHAHA ! We played alot of card games and the pool too :)


I think its called



I remembered something today and i am scared of it

Peace out:
don't leave me

November 22, 2009 Y 4:10 PM


Friday was the most.. GOSSSHHH, scary day laa. My hair was FABUUUULLLOOOOUSSS.
Then, I went to Yishun. Heheee. The laksa was superb spicy ! I can't take it at all ! Then had bestie Az to accompany me along with to Yishun.. I was damn scared that something awful gonna happen. Well it did, but not what I've imagined.
R and me had a good talk outside the house.. Oh mann, R's words were sooo spicy, it brought me to tears.. But heck , We're OKAY !:)
Then I went home to sleeeeppppp
I took about 1hour to decide what to wear and i finally wore this !
Then Nyssa took more than 3hours to finally decide if she can go or not..
Insyirah was hyper active mann ! She screamed and all ! Godd, and she cried when she saw nyssa going out of the house
AMALINA's Party was !!!! AWESOMEEE ! I mean the food ...
hehe, Happy bdae gal ! :)
Thennnn, go home laa . Was tired...
I was so hardworking today ! I cleaned my room.. CAN U BELIEVE THAT !!!!?!???!
Then I went out to Plaza S'pura to meet Auntie V :DD
I didn't knw there's a concert going on.. Sort of laa. But it was awesome yawww:))
then head to Yishun. LOL
When tomorrow comes unexpected, You'll decide if you want to fly .
Peace out;
Been really bad nowadays, should change !

November 20, 2009 Y 12:47 PM

So maybe .. I will not forget her after all. I LOVE YOU MUM

This whole week was great !

Monday :

Had a great time in school. Ohh, we played in the rain ! I was drenched mann ! But it was awesome anyway.


Had that graduation thingy ! Gosh, we creid like nobody buiz ! It was so sad ! But the food was nice btw. The cheesecake was awesome !!


Went to Bugis and Bishan with Hid, Nyssa & Fira ! huhu. It was fun !! & it rained all day which was bad cos it really ruined our hair ! GODD


Went to Lucky Plaza to meet Auntie Vivian ! Hehe, She treated me Nasi Uduk ! gosssh, SEDAP SEYHH ! Then we went shopping at Takashimaya; cold storage ! hehe, bought another cheesecake ! DAMN, it's delicious !


Going to cut my hair later ! Then I'm going to go Yishun. Have to mend a broken relationship.

Wish me luucckk. :)

Then came a news about 2012 ! haha ! Let's not believe that crap !

I wanna say..

Peace out;
I will make it happen !


November 12, 2009 Y 6:44 PM

haha, i saw you today ! :)

I wastched that movie today with bestie Az at CWP ! Lols ! It was funny ! (not the movie laa) because we went up and down to find popcorns but in the end we bought Lays. HAHA ! Btw, the movie sold out SUPERB FAST ! The 1.15pm, 2.05pm and 2.45pm sold out SOO FAST ! Thank God we managed to buy the 2.45pm ticket !
It was okay laa, though the sound effect burst my eardrums ! :) The story was really REALLY REALLY SAD ! Ask Az how many times I cried while watching ?!
There was this part about father and son thingy(won't say what happen !) and then it got me crying when I thought of my dad...
Then we went to find some books on this END OF THE WORLD thingy.. :D
Let's repent before it's too late.
BTW, I don't know why was I crying like a baby in the cinema just now but it sure gotta do with all that drama and love and humanity.. It's stupid to see how selfish human are ! They want to save their own life and it's all about money ! Without that, you have no chance of survival. Ahh, Death can Welcome us anytime, it doesn't have to be the end of the world to finally realise we're dead ?!
It really serves like a Reminder to human race !!! Let's be forgiving, spread love of humanity and compassionates to oters before it's too late to turn back.
Peace out;
Look around you, it's flawless

November 10, 2009 Y 4:02 PM

Then came another evil spirit !

Then it was Monday ! lol, it was stupid bcos im tired.
Then it was tuesday..
that's today right ? haha !
Ohh, congrats Ama, bcos u've just created a blog ! wahh..
why should I care of what they say and think ? I'm alone and I'm strong ! I rule the universe with love and more love. It may hurt to see my whole life tearing into pieces, but hey ! It's my life, I have the right to do whatever shit I want !
Peace out;
Don't turn back

November 5, 2009 Y 4:13 PM

hehe, so long never update. not my fault laa ! im busy with life, the ups and downs . With F&N too laa. So, Its understandable..

Let's see, EOY finish already.. soo, thank god ! The results were fair. I failed Maths again ! E8. :D

The yearbook sucks bigg time laa ! Right after we received our yearbook, these two boys in my class were laughing like nobody buiz. I mean, hello ! Im like right under your nose and there you are laughing ruthlessly !!!! Well, Jing Wen saw me right then, I told her its okay.. Well, who cares ? Stupid boys.

Brigding like stupiddd laaa. Monday got the F&n thingy... Made chocolatessss... NOT NICE ! hehehe. Its been raining non-stop lately and im worried because I have only a pair of shoes to start with and Im worried that i am not able to meet R ! SO stupid laaa !

BTW, I've made a new rule for myself ! I have to be home before mahgrib everyday !! haha , coolio right ?? hehe, im sticking to it ahh ! Good gal. I don't want them to fight again because of me, that sucks biggg time ! hahha !

Then Tuesday go DNA LAB thingy which was so cool laa. I like it ! haha ! but that guy in my class really spoilt my mood ahh. He said something and then the whole group laughed. My two galfwens heard it but pretended not to.. Well, I didn't hear it laa but they told me when we're in school , which made me sooo damn angry ahh ! WHO IS HE TO SAY THAT ABOUT ME ?! WE'RE SO OVER AND WHY CAN'T HE GET THAT STRIAGHT ?!

Last time , i just shut up laa ! I don't mentioned it at all because I respected you ! NOW?! It's so not cool ! IM DAMN PISSED OFF BECAUSE THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME I HEARD ALL THAT CRAP COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH !

SO, his besties of whoever who read this and all, if you wanna confront me or what, go on.. i don't bother.. so, uhm, yea ?

Then, i violated my own rule ! I went out at night (ON TUESDAY) and met R . hehe, wasn't my real intention laa but whatever.. hehe. I was missing R like crazy and had to meet R ! <3


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Name. Efa Afifah aka Deryana :);
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